What is it like to love you?

Answer by Michelle Roses:

My fellow Quorans seem to think they're difficult to love!  I'm taking a different approach.  I'm not going to list all the quirky things I know might make it harder to love me. I'm challenging myself and taking the position, it's easy to love me.  I know when I'm with the right person it will be.

I'm newly single.  As in, not even 5 months, so, right now, I'm fragile.  I'm protective of my heart.  I'm not ready to be loved again – yet.  But I will be one day.

So, see if you think this will be easy . . .

1.  Loving me means laughing a lot.  Being able to laugh at yourself and with me.  You can also laugh at me, I trip a lot.

2.  I screw up plenty, but I admit when I'm wrong and try to make it right.  You have to be able to admit when you make a mistake, take responsibility for it and apologize. 

3.  I'm told I LOOK high-maintenance (whatever that means), but I'm not.  I won't complain if we're on our way to a 4-star hotel in Paris and our car breaks down and we end up camping.  Camping is fun in the backyard too as is sleeping in our own bed.  If you want to love me, adventure is important.  Not going to complain about a fancy Parisian hotel room, but as long as I can get clean eventually, anything works.

4.  I fight fairly.  I don't pull punches, nor am I cruel.  I leave the past where it belongs because I can't change it and neither can you.  See point 2.   However, if you're not willing to be called out on your own b.s., I'm not going to be easy for you to love. 

5.  I don't do lies, omissions, or secrets.  I can't.  It eats me from the inside out and I've learned this the hard way.  I will keep your confidence, but not lie for you.

6.  I'm a mom.  First.  Always.  This doesn't mean I won't give you attention or make you a priority, but I base every decision I make now on how it effects them.  You wouldn't want to love someone who didn't, would you? 

7.  I like to communicate.  I talk, maybe too much, but I want to know things, I love to learn.  I'm curious about your day.  SOMETHING happened!  Being communicative also means I'll tell you what I want, so it's a good thing . . . No games.

8.  I believe in and want romance.  Not big gestures all the time, little ones.  For me, someone loading the dishwasher for me is romantic, because you'd remember I don't like doing it.  Making me coffee in the morning is romantic because you'd remember I like coffee in the morning.  Flowers are great too – even picked from the yard. It's all about the intention.

9.  I have great boundaries.  I know with and have dealt with my own crap.  I'm always going to be a work in progress (aren't we all?)  However, I know my own stuff, who I am and what I want and deserve in my relationships.  Trust me, this makes loving me much easier.  I've already dung up and dealt with all the muck some people never face.  I'm an open book, transparent, vulnerable and know what I am willing to do, and what I'm not. 

10.  I know I have no control over other people.  This makes it easy for me to be kind and compassionate.  I just am.  I have compassion for people.  I feel badly for someone's pain when he or she is angry at me.  I want to understand where the anger and hurt is coming from, not just defend my position.  Sometimes there may not be any truth to what they believe, but they believe it anyway.  That's their choice.  If I am honest about and know what my truth is, I let it go.  I can accept I have no control over other people.  I think this makes me easy to love. 

He's out there, somewhere.  There's another point;  I have hope and, despite everything, I still believe in love.

View Answer on Quora


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